How My Life Has Changed
by Fire The Canon
Summary: A sequential drabble collection of the RemusLily friendship. Begins a bit after they finish at Hogwarts. For Writing Prompts Challenge. RemusLily.
1. Into Hiding

_**This whole collection written for luckycharm944's Writing Prompts Challenge using the prompt 'I like a quiet life, you know me'**_

_**This chapter also written for Clever Ink Slinger's Christmas Boot Camp using the prompt 'Christmas Tree'**_

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**Into Hiding**

It was their first Christmas outside of Hogwarts. The air was cold, but inside was warm. A fire blazed in the corner, melting the snow off everybody as they came in. The Christmas tree sat in the other corner, decorated with enchanted tinsel and a shining star on top.

Only a few presents lay underneath, but that was okay. After all, it was only a house made for two.

"So, you like our new place, Remus?" Lily questioned, smiling brightly at him.

Remus took another glance around the room, and nodded. "It's very fitting for you," he commented. "It's small and cosy… and romantic."

Her smile widened even further. "It is, isn't it? Can you believe James was the one to find it?"

"That I can't believe," Remus chuckled.

Oh, how things had changed these past months. This time last year, they'd all been lazing in the Great Hall, enjoying the Christmas Eve feast. Now, they were all grown up. James and Lily had found a place together, and were due to be married in a few months. Sirius was recovering from a broken heart after Alice Fortescue had left him for Frank Longbottom, and Peter… well Peter hadn't changed much at all, to be telling the truth. He was still as shy and as unsure of himself as the day Remus had met him.

Remus…. He was much happier than he had been a year ago. Despite everything – a war coming, his wolfish nature being exposed to more people than he had ever anticipated, and Lord Voldemort killing every day – everything seemed as good as it could be.

The smile Lily Evans – soon to be Potter – gave him, warmed his heart. She had no idea how her joy made him feel. At least something good could come from all the bad.

"It's not much yet," Lily continued, taking a sip from her glass of champagne, "But one day we're hoping to fix it. Have you seen upstairs yet? It's two bedrooms, a bathroom –"

"You mean a spare bedroom for Sirius?" Remus teased.

Lily laughed. "For now," she said. "But not permanently. I have other uses for it." The hint in her voice was undeniable.

"And does your fiancé know of these plans?" he questioned.

Lily blushed slightly, but didn't say anything. It seemed that discussing this with James had not been her top priority.

"Maybe a wedding might be enough for him to focus on to begin with," Remus suggested. "You'll frighten the poor bloke."

They both turned to where James stood with Sirius and Peter, a Butterbeer each in their hands. They were laughing about something.

"You're right," she sighed after a moment. "I guess I was just too excited about everything. Two years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed that I'd be living with _James Potter_, but now things have changed, haven't they?"

Remus nodded. He knew more than anyone how things had changed. "Lily," he began. She turned her gentle face him, watching him curiously.

"Yes?" she questioned.

"I have to tell you something. It's something Dumbledore asked of me a few weeks ago." It was something he hadn't even dared tell James or Sirius. Not yet.

Lily watched him without speaking.

"Dumbledore wants me to join the werewolves," he blurted out.

"What?" Her voice was barely a whisper, and her eyes became bleary… like she was going to cry.

"As a spy," he continued. "We need to know what Voldemort is planning, and who better than me to spy on one of his closest allies?"

"But… Remus…."

"I know the risks, Lily," Remus said before she could. "I know, but I have to do it. I _want_ to do it."

"But why?"

Remus shrugged. "There's not much else for me out there, Lily. Not many who are willing to hire a werewolf. Besides… I'll live a quiet life, right? Exactly what I want." His attempt to humour her failed when she didn't smile.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly. "Be safe," she said.

"I will; I promise." Though, was it really a promise he could keep?

"Oi, Lupin, what are you doing with my fiancé." James' voice echoed across the small room, and Lily broke away from him.

"You should tell them," she said. "They'll want to know."

Remus nodded. "I will," he said. "Just not right now."

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_**Er, so I start this collection in the hopes that I'll make it through the first round of the Writing Prompts challenge :P If not, then this will just turn into a one-shot/drabble. I was given the pairing LilyRemus, so all of these will be based around them. They'll be sequential, but also you can read them by themselves too. It'll be friendship based, because, well, I'm a canon girl :)**_

_**Anyway, Marauders are a challenge for me, so I hope you enjoyed. **_


	2. A Mouse in a Snake Pit

_**I used the prompt 'love' for this chapter**_

_**This chapter also written for UnicornsandRainbows2009's Song fic Boot Cam using the song '"If Today Was Your Last Day" by Nickleback'**_

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**A Mouse in a Snake Pit**

He saw her standing there, watching. Her eyes threatened to spill tears as she watched from the distance.

Her face said it all. _What are you doing?_

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat as James joined her side, putting an arm across her shoulders, comforting her. Sirius was on her other side, his expression one of resentment and confusion.

He had known they wouldn't approve, and that was why he'd put off telling them about it until the very last minute. He was risking his life; he was a mouse entering into a pit of snakes. For all he knew, today was going to be his last day. The plan might not work. The other werewolves might not fall for it.

But he had to do it anyway. He had to try and save all the ones he loved – the four faces that were staring back at him. James, Sirius, Peter and Lily. If he could do anything to help them, then he would.

His life was worth that much.

"You understand, don't you?" he asked, approaching them timidly. James and Sirius weren't known for being gentle. Underneath their concern, they were probably furious.

"Of course we understand," James said. "It still doesn't mean we like it, though. Isn't there any other way?"

Remus looked to Lily, who was silently crying. She had said something similar when he had told her. There was no other way. This was the last resort.

"Dumbledore has searched for answers elsewhere," he said softly. "This was my idea; if I can save the people I love – you – and the innocent people I don't even know, then I will. I have to do something."

"But, what about those who love _you_, Remus?" Lily's voice was quiet, gentle. He could barely hear her.

Remus looked away. "That's not what's important," he answered. "There are lives at stake here."

"Yeah, yours," Sirius grumbled. Remus knew he was only in a bad mood because he was scared. He never would admit when something frightened him.

"I'll be fine," he assured them, knowing fairly well that that was a promise that couldn't be kept. "I just won't be able to keep in contact as much."

"But you will be able to, won't you?" Lily questioned, and he saw the fear in her eyes.

Remus nodded. "As much as I can," he promised her. "But not at the risk of lives."

They all nodded in understanding.

"Especially not yours," James added.

Remus nodded again, despite not having thought about that. If the werewolves found out about him, then they'd kill him, and then go straight for his friends. He knew that, and he wasn't going to risk it.

"I love you, Rem," Lily sobbed. She broke free of James' comfort and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed her temple.

"I love you too, Lily," he mumbled. "And I'll be back before you know it, I promise."

She pulled away and smiled a pained smile. He could say those words as much as he liked, but they all knew that that wasn't a promise. It was hope.

"You better keep your promises," she said.

He smiled. "I always do."

She gave him one last hug, and then returned to her fiancé.

"So, this is it, huh?" Sirius said.

Remus nodded. "This is it," he agreed.

James, Sirius and Peter each took their turn in saying goodbye. He only had a few more minutes, and then he'd be in the snake pit.

"Just be careful, okay, mate," James said. "We want you back for the wedding."

Remus smiled. "I wouldn't miss it," he said.

James returned his smile.

"Contact us when you can, and as frequently as you can," Lily added, giving him another hug.

Remus said goodbye to each of them once more, and then he was gone. If this was going to be his last day, then at least he had left his mark.

At least he would be dying for the ones that he loved.

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_**I'm still not feeling any more comfortable with writing Marauders, so I hope I didn't do a too bad a job. Your reviews/suggestions would be muchly appreciated :)**_


	3. Bittersweet Act

_**I used the prompts 'Write about someone happy or innocent' (Harry) and 'Write about a sour experience' (Remus)**_

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**Bittersweet Act**

She'd had a baby. Remus had seen the photos. A little boy with a head full of jet-black hair, looking like James probably had when he was that age.

Remus wanted nothing more than to meet this little boy, to see the life James and Lily had brought into this world, but how could he? He was a werewolf now; he was someone who they all believed to be working for Lord Voldemort.

Even Fenrir Greyback – the reason Remus was the monster that he was – believed it.

Remus was good at convincing them.

He hated it, though. He hated every moment of it, terrified that he was going to be found out. It was as if the others were watching his every move, waiting for him to slip up.

Paranoia, of course. The other werewolves didn't have the brains to realise they were being double-crossed. They didn't understand how a creature such as them would even consider protecting loved ones.

No, they just liked to kill. Remus knew this. He had to endure their discussions on the subject, pretending that he thought killing innocent Muggles was hilarious.

He'd never been more ashamed of himself.

"That bloody owl's back again!"

Remus – who had been wasting time with a book – glanced up at Greyback's words. _Owl?_ Only one owl had made the journey here multiple times, and that was the snowy white one belonging to James and Lily Potter.

He smiled. Later that night, when the others were snoring, he'd go and collect the letter Lily had sent him. It would be hidden in the same place all her letters were, waiting for Remus to read it. The owl would then meet him there, and he'd reply on the other side, informing her that he was still alive.

This happened once a week. It was the only contact Remus had with the outside world.

"I'm starting to wonder one of us has a secret lover around here," Greyback said, looking around at his fellow werewolves. His eyes landed on Remus. "Is it you, Lupin?"

Remus feigned innocence. "Would I be here if I had one?" He shrugged.

Greyback grumbled something unintelligible, and looked around again. Remus looked back down at the book.

_Soon_, he thought. Soon, he'd be able to read Lily's letter again.

For now, though, he had to pretend that he was a werewolf for Voldemort. It was why the book in his lap read: _One-Hundred-and-One Ways to Make a Werewolf_.

He had to keep up the act.

OOO

_Dear Moony_

_Harry is doing wonderfully. He's gotten so big even in the past week. Can you believe he's almost a month old? Time's gone so fast!_

_Oh, I wish you could meet him, and James and I still have faith that one day you will. When he's still small, of course. He's so cute. He now smiles at Prongs and Padfoot (not me, though – apparently I'm not funny enough) and will sometimes laugh. It's wonderful to watch._

_I know I must keep these letters short, but there is so much I need to tell you. We're all worried, Moony. So worried about you, and we're thinking about you every day. _

_Please stay safe, and I hope you're still well. _

_Reply quickly._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

Remus smiled. It was the only contact he had with anyone other than Death Eaters, and he loved it when she wrote him.

Sitting down on a rotting log, Remus picked up the quill Lily had sent with the letter and began scribbling a reply on the back of the parchment.

_Lily_

_I am alive – that is as well as I can be at the moment. I am still holding my cover well – the others don't suspect at all, which is good, I suppose._

_It's good to hear that Harry is doing so well. One day, I'll be able to see him! I promise you I will, but for now, he's safe, and that's all that matters._

_Thank you for the photo you sent of him. He does look a lot like James, doesn't he? The poor kid…_

_That's all I have to say. For now, just know that I am well._

_All the best,_

_Moony_

The snowy owl, Ingleburn, fluttered down to land beside him.

"Take this quickly," Remus said, attaching the letter to the creature's leg. "We don't want anyone getting suspicious."

Ingleburn hooted.

"See you soon!" he said. He watched as the owl fluttered away. "Until next time," he mumbled.****

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_**So this is technically the final round of this competition, and I know they're meant to be drabbles that can stand alone, but I don't feel like it's finished. I'm going to mark it as complete so my OCD mind can rest, though there's a chance I may update again. I just don't know when. I might try and make it 5.**_

_**I hope you all liked. Also, if you're interested, I'm holding a competition ( : / / w w w . fanfiction forum / The-Quidditch-League-Fanfiction-Competition / 134505 / . Just remove all the spaces. There's still plenty of spots open, but in under 4 days, 40 people have signed up already, so it's going pretty fast.**_

_**Anyway, your reviews are much appreciated!**_


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